Tuesday, February 15, 2011

help without conditions...

help without conditions. We all know someone who is need of help. And, we all understand how difficult it can be to ask for help - especially when your situation is a mess and you feel like you've failed or should be able to handle it on your own.

Knowing how difficult it can be to ask for help, how about graciously agreeing to help and pitch in without making it conditional. Become a servant to that friend and just help - no ifs, ands or buts. I guess a pet-peeve of mine is when someone claims that they "are there for you," but only if it doesn't interfere with their desired scheduling. You ask for help because you're in a bind and they say o.k. - and then ask for you five favors in return. Or they say they will help, but only if it can be at this time, in this location, and not last any longer than this amount. Even worse, they make sure to convey what an imposition this will be and how it just ruins their plans for the day but since they want to be the good friend they will sacrifice. That's not helping - it's self-centered and it makes the situation more difficult and stressful for the person in need. If you can't help whole heartedly without reservation and condition, just say no. Don't impose your conditions on the situation and make it about you. Helping is supposed to be about the other person - not you. So put their needs before your own and actually help.

So, for today I will help without conditions. I really put aside my own needs for my friend and with a full heart and a spirit of true giving I will pitch in without setting rules.