Monday, July 26, 2010

be strong instead of being cool...

be strong instead of cool. Do the right thing or be cool? A question we all face. Whether it's with your peers or your kids, we all want to be "cool." Unfortunately, being cool is not the measurement that matters, especially for parents.

Our society has gotten very touchy-feely with being a "friend" to your child instead of being their parent. Compassion and open communication are amazing and needed. But you were given a job by God to raise these precious little souls into healthy, productive, and moral adults. So for today, stand up and do your job. Teach them, don't cater to them. Guide them, give them limits and tear up the free pass. This isn't about your need to feel cool. It's actually not about your feelings at all. This is about the responsibility to help your child mature and grow in the right ways. You taught them to walk and talk, so should you be teaching them to get drunk and swear. You want them to fall in love, get married and have kids. So don't condone violence, promiscuity, disrespectful and dangerous behavior. You want them to be responsible and intelligent, so don't buy everything they ask for when they can't pass their classes. Structure, discipline and consequences are important tools to show caring and love and thoughtfulness. Parents who care set boundaries. Every child is going to make mistakes no matter what - some big, some small. But if you're lucky enough to have taught them that there is a difference between right and wrong, maybe some of the choices they make won't be as devastating, as deep or as permanent and isn't that better than being "cool."

So, for today I will be strong instead of being cool. I will not allow or cater to what I know is wrong. I will "parent." I don't have to turn my home into a military school, but for today I will set boundaries that I know are appropriate and I will stick to them. And I will pray for continued strength again tomorrow.